**Trigger Warning**Diary Entry — August 18th, 2006

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Tama66

3 days ago, I finally got out.  Thanks to some connections Ive made through runs Ive made, and doing some things I’m not proud of, I got ahold of some pills that knocked my mother and the 3 men she had lined up for me. They made the mistake of letting me make their drinks tonight. After about 30 min, they were all passed out…..I took some money from her stash and I ran. Ran til my lungs felt like they were goin’ to explode.  Met up with some friends I’d made on the streets and am now holed up in an old abandoned factory in another town.  They don’t know my story, I don’t know theirs and that’s how its gonna stay. Soon as I was safe, chopped and colored my hair, changed my name, and was able to get some non-prescrip glasses.  Got a bus ticket and am leaving for Seattle tomorrow. Can’t wait to start my new life.

#DeclareIt #ClaimYourStory

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I WILL BE A BEST SELLING AUTHOR NEXT YEAR! I am yelling this from the top of a mountain in my head!

As you all know, I am on a writing journey that has spanned 35 years on and off. The past couple of years I have really gone head  first into writing again and over the last year, I have had the privilege of being in an AMAZING group called Creative Central. This is a women’s only writing group and has been THE best writing group I’ve ever been in. It is run by an awesome woman by the name of Debbie Burns (check out her website she’s AHHHHMAZING!) . The support and love and lifting up that happens in this group is…I can’t even find the perfect word to describe it…..that’s how great it is!

But thanks to this group and Debbie, I have finally gotten focused on a story and am able to ‘see’ it and how it’s going to play out (for the most part, still parts that I’m working on but that’s normal!) and have found a fantastic tribe to share this journey with that also gives me a kick in the pants when I need it!

Debbie gave a webinar to talk to us about Jump-starting our Novel and stressed to us that we need to CLAIM our story. Our old one AND our new one. So that is what I’m doing. I am claiming my new story. I’ve been working through my old one and kicking the bad things to the curb (with the help of another phenomenal woman by the name of Ginger Nichole Baker  ) and now I’m ‘stumbling forward’ through my new journey.

These ladies, along with my ever supportive and loving husband and my best friends, have helped me see my potential. They have helped me see that I AM good enough..that I AM a good writer…that I CAN be a best selling author….that I AM worthy of love…that I am NOT dumb…that I am NOT a bitch….that I am NOT a failure…that I am in control of my life…that I can be whatever I set my mind to…that I am a strong woman no matter what my father has said or thinks. I will NOT ever go back to believing everything he and my stepmother filled my head with. My looks have NOTHING to do with my success in life. I have a GREAT personality, a HUGE heart, and I have always put others first.  My love of reading and writing, my empathy, my connection to nature and animals — none of that makes me ‘odd’ or ‘weird’…it makes me ME. I am intelligent, I am creative, and I AM AN AUTHORPRENEUR!

This post is my declaration that my life just took a turn for the BEST. I WILL be a best selling author…My husband and I WILL have the life WE deserve. I WILL make enough money where he will not have to work 60+ hours a week anymore to make ends meet. That shit ends next year! This is NOT wishful thinking..THIS. IS. A . FACT.

No more doing what makes everyone else happy. This is for ME…for MY family. The family that stands by me…the family that loves me for ME….the family that is proud of what I have become….the family that celebrates what GOOD I’ve done instead of the mistakes I made in the past that have NOTHING to do with the life I have now….the family I have made for myself because I didn’t have one when I was younger. I had relatives..not a family.

This is my independence day from all the shit I’ve hung on to for years. No more bowing to pressure from people who seriously don’t give a shit about me and are only trying now because I have a REAL family and found family that has been lost to me my entire life.

So today, again, I make this claim.

I….WILL….BE…A… BESTSELLING…AUTHOR…NEXT…YEAR! I WILL have my novel finished by Christmas(if not before) and it WILL be published next year!

For all y’all that don’t believe me..or believe IN me…WATCH ME!

Thank you to everyone that has stood by me through everything over the last few years and for all the love and support. I love each and everyone of you and am happy to call you my family. ❤